Location: The Rental House
Time: Evening
Feeling: Realistic
In this dream, however, my bedroom was located where the bathroom is, with a large window facing the backyard. I was getting ready to go to bed, when I noticed a totally creepy peeping tom looking in through my window. Of course, my natural response was to give him the finger. I realized that this was a poor choice as he flew into a rage and attempted to break into my room and kill me. It took far to long to get through the door into the hallway, and locking it behind me, I thought "This is unacceptable! I must put in place some security measures to keep strange men from creeping around my yard, and looking in my windows!"
Now, in my dream, there were really only two good measures for securing your yard, trip wires and security pits. I called my dad to let him know what had happened, and ask his advice which I should use. According to him, security pits were really the only choice. With trip wires, he informed me, you merely trip people up and slow them down as the try to skulk around. Security pits, however, will trap the intruder until morning, when you can have them arrested. Also, he told me that a good security pit must be lined with plywood, so as to keep the sides from caving in and either allowing the trespasser to escape, or perhaps smothering him. After I got off the phone with him, I called up Home Depot, and got an estimate for plywood for one medium security pit. At $19.00, it was quite a good deal. I also called the police department, just to make sure that trapping people in pits was entirely legal. They assured me that it was.
That evening, I went to bed feeling secure, with my security pit in place right under my bedroom window. Several hours after I went to bed, I awoke to a thump, a surprised shout, and some thrashing. "Hey! it's worked!" I thought, as I dialed the police. When they arrived, however, it was made apparent that the person who had been trying to look into my window was in fact just a sad, skinny, drunken homeless man. The police asked him what he was doing trying to look in my window. "Ah," replied he, "I just wanted to see what it was like to live in a real house..." This response was so pitiful that I insisted that the police merely give him a stern talking to and let him go. Retiring once again to bed, I felt quite satisfied. However, it was not two hours later that I heard another thump, and surprised shout. "Really?" I thought, "This is kind of ridiculous." Once again the police arrived, and looking out my window I saw that they were arresting a terrifying, homicidal, insane rapist. Shaking my head, immensely relieved that I had thought to install the pit, I once again went back to bed.
The next morning, I got up and walked down the road to Logan's Roadhouse, were I was to meet my grandmother for brunch. The restaurant was packed, but only with groups of two. Peering around, I located my grandmother towards the center of the restaurant, sharing a table with none other than the sad skinny homeless man from the night prior! Entirely perplexed, I began to notice that all of the tables were occupied by couples composed of one fairly standard looking older person, and one scruffy homeless person. Even the insane, murderous rapist was there, sharing a table with a pleasant looking gentleman in a suit. At that point, I noticed the large sign propped by the hostess station, adverstising a rather fantastic meal deal: "Two full lunch meals for the price of 1/2 of one." I was pondering the logic of such a promotion, when I woke up.
